ok, the woman is going round the bend

So, I apparently took an extra colander when I moved some stuff this week. This caused a freakout. Never mind that it was bought with my money or that it was sitting in a box that was supposedly filled with my stufd or that there is her original one sitting on top of the cabinets in the kitchen. Nope, I am clearly trying to rip her off and taking all the stuff that was bought with communal money. 

Ignoring the fact that it was not bought with communal money, it's a fucking colander. This is a reason to freak out and declare that I am functionally stealing from her? Wow. This women has lost her shit and I'm thinking that getting out of this is the best thing that could have happened to me. Still not happy to be alone at this point in my life, but I am pretty sure being with her these days would be worse.

I wish I knew where this is coming from

You know, I realized that I have been getting gaslighted recently and today once again I am being told that I did something that seems completely out of character for me. At some point last year, I loaned a Star Trek TOS phaser replica to a friend for a bit of cosplay. I do not recall when I lost track of the phaser, but Jen apparently found it while she was enthusiastally packing up my stuff while I was in the hospital. Great and all that. So when she tells me she found it, she smugly tells me I shouldn't have accused my friend of losing it. I do not remember doing this. I don't even remember talking to her about it, but it seems to me I would have asked to verify that it had been given back to me or to ask if she could verify that she did not have it. I am aware of my failings enough to think that I might ha e misplaced it. 

To make matters worse Jen says the friend remembers it this way too. I have not confirmed this with her, but my main issue is why did this even have to come up? 

It seems like I need to be the villain in Jen's eyes, no matter what.i would love to know where this apparent hatred came from.